By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

I judged her so many times without caring. Without even trying to understand, i branded her. Each and every thing that she did wasn’t good enough for me. She wasn’t good enough. She wasn’t living the right way. How she dressed, how she put on her make-up and did her hair had somehow become my concern. It somehow became my business to gossip about her. 

I would often pretend to be ok with her but truth was i was bothered. Why? Because she wasn’t what i wanted her to be. She wasn’t living according to my standards. She was ungodly because of her tattoos. She had no values because according to me people with values don’t look/act or talk like her. Theres no way she would fit into my circle so i wouldn’t bother to engage her in a conversation. My kind and her kind were just too far off, you know what i mean right?

My kind is sophisticated. My kind is elite. My kind is Godly. My kind is righteous. My kind is more deserving than her confused kind who’ve terrible life choices. My kind is what everyone should strive to become. I am the standard that is ment to be. I am the character that everyone should aspire to be. Or am i?

As for her kind. Her kind is not worthy of life. Her kind is not worth getting to know. What is her kind even doing around me? There seems to be an imbalance. God forgot that there’s us and then theres them. They need to be in their own world. Hahaha! Yeah right. Like her ratchet, immoral, classless and ungodly kind deserves life. Who even raised her? Was she born to a mother and father? Was she concieved or did she just appear?

I feel that every bad thing she experiences, she actually deserves. She calls for it. She asks for it. She needs to change her ways, her appearance. I pity her kind. How long will she live like this? How long until she realises that the grass is greener on this side? It’s such a pity. 

But hold up who should be pitied? Me or her? I mean she is who she is. She is comfortable in her own skin, not trying to fake who she is. She is not bothered by my cruelty as i am bothered by her existence. She isn’t trying to play a character but is living life as a person. While here i am bothered, making judgements. Instead of living my life and being me, i am busy making judgements. 

I do not know her story. I have never cared to know her story. I do not care the least about her struggles or what she has been through. I have never tried to understand her. I guess arrogance has been my guide. Yet here i am feeling sorry for her as she embraces herself, loves who she really is and acknowleges that she is here to stay. She lives in the midst of my cruel kind who utter mean words and display unkindness yet still her kind manages to exist and aren’t falling into extinction.

Why am i making judgements in the first place? Why am i bothered by her existence? Do i really think that my kind is the right kind or am i in denial of the fact that i have always had to follow and believe something different than what is me? Is every part of me as i would want it to be? Am i my own masterpiece or am i fitting into an image and likeness? Why do i really judge her? Why am i this cruel and hostile? Why am i not trying to love and live in kindness? Is this what i want people to become? Is my idea of a masterpiece worthy of being exhibited in this gallery called life? 

Dear friends, only kindness and love matter.

#TheWholenessEffect

#Masterpiece

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By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

Welcome to 2020. It’s always great crossing over into a new year. All the resolutions, expectations and promises we make to ourselves. The changes we strongly vow to make into our lives. The people we finally decide to let go of. The investments we decide make with hopes that they would eventually yield. The relationships we anticipate to build as well as all those that we are set to cut off. 

I agree it’s a good feeling but one thing that i dislike about this time is how it’s always the same every year. I dislike the excitement that eventually fades away, the pressure to make changes only to give up or settle for less, the unrealistic notion that the year has got to be perfect and better. But does it?

2019 was far from perfection for me. I lost so many things. Ended relationships that i believed would last forever. I made numerous hospital visits. I had lots of nervous breakdowns and panic attacks. I lacked on several occassions. I felt miserable and shitty. But truth be told i experienced Love, care and compassion. I met individuals that were super kind to me. People that would went out of their way to ensure that i was comfortable. People that opened their doors , listened , committed to understanding my point of view and helped me to learn and improve who i am. I would say that i met angels. 

Yet more importantly i also got to share the positivity that i recieved. I got to be compassionate, I got to learn what empathy was and also give it, i got to love. And get this, the most important bit of it is that i got to give this to someone very important, me. Being kind to yourself, showing yourself compassion and practicing selfcare is the most important and productive exerecise that anyone could undertake. Prosperity starts with a good mood. Success begins with a happy mind. Positive vibes come from how you treat yourself. 

Don’t get me wrong, everyone matters but before everyone theres me. At the end of it all, you are genuinely all you’ve really got. Your can’t give what you dont have. You can’t share what you are in need of. 

In a nutshell what im saying is, don’t expect the year to be flawless and perfect. Cause it won’t. This is not your year, it never is. We all live in one planet that goes round the same star. LOL. 

Understand that life is what it is and that the best we can do is to take care of ourselves improve our humanity, love some more, be kind to ourselves as well as others and remember that forever doesn’t last so live today at it’s best (i mean responsibly, LOL)

#TheWholenessEffect

#ForeverDoesn’tLast

For more information contact us on:

FACEBOOK PAGE: PEMA-Kenya, FACEBOOK ACCOUNT: Pema Ke Nya

TWITTER:@pemakenya  INSTAGRAM:@pemakenya

By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

Recently a dear friend of mine and a huge supporter of my work reached out to me to inquire why I liked sharing my life-stories and experiences. My reply to him was simple ” it’s therapeutic for me”. But ever since then I’ve been engaging in deep conversations with myself. I’ve opened up to a few people within my support system as well all in the name of trying to find out why I like sharing my personal experiences. 

I have realised that it’s simply because my experiences have given me a voice. 

Throught our lives we experience lots of things and sometimes we develop authenticity issues because we become bound. A friend opened up and shared that they were sexually assaulted by a relative, also as a child. She couldn’t talk about it to her friends. Her family followed it up and the relative was taken to court but still she had lost her voice. She was cautious about what others would say or think of her. It sometimes feels like you have a shame-stamp on your forehead. So what do you do? You put your head down and sit your ass in a corner. Atleast they can see you, right?

Imagine getting ready to head out for drinks with your friends and right before you head out you recieve a text from one of them telling you not to be too extra tonight.

Imagine going for a family gathering and being told by your parents not to show up in snickers and a polo shirt but instead come in a dress and don’t invite your boyish friends. And act like a girl.

Imagine a trans woman going into the ladies room to fix their make up and have all the girls in their look at her in disgust as they walk away and tell the management that there’s a man in a dress in the ladies room.

Life silences us in so many ways. Sometimes we get used to it and tell ourselves that at the end of the day I’m still alive. Bora uhai. We settle for less than what we truly deserve. We go with whatever comes our way. We are lied to and told that we get what we deserve. We begin to practice selective conflict avoidance just so we can fit in. Then ultimately we begin to hate those that love us and love those that hate us. We try to hard to please and keep up with the trends. Becoming fearful. Drowning in anticipation of the worst. But what is worse than not having a voice?

What is worse than being told that you are a woman and this is how you should look?What is worse than suppressing your feelings to seem strong to others or not to disgrace your loved ones?What is worse than not being able to stand up for who you are and what you believe in? What is worse than not being able to live in your truth? What is worse than putting up with abuse and torture just to feel loved? 

I don’t believe that any of us gets what they deserve. I believe that we get what we tolerate. People will always go as far as we let them and being silenced gives them power. 

It’s about time that we all made strides to get our voices back. As victims it’s time we claimed our healing and stopped taking sympathy. It’s time that we stopped letting our destinies be determined by other people’s dysfunctionalities. 

I’m sorry that people have walked over you. I’m sorry that people have crushed your dreams. That you have become dependent on what someone else will say or do. I’m sorry that your life stopped being yours and that you became an antique ornament in the room. Just to be seen. I’m sorry that you settled for less and told yourself that that’s what you deserved. I’m sorry that you killed yourself to give life to a non-deserving jackass. 

But it’s time. It’s time to claim your space. Shine in grace. It’s time that the world applauded you for who you really are. 

Your experiences give you a unique voice. A voice that is authentic, rich in truth and impactful. So get your voice back and live again.

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FACEBOOK PAGE: PEMA-Kenya, FACEBOOK ACCOUNT: Pema Ke Nya

TWITTER:@pemakenya  INSTAGRAM:@pemakenya