By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

Often I have told myself that I needed someone. That I needed someone to love me. That I needed someone to accept me. That I needed someone to hook me up with a better shot at life. That I needed someone special. I believed that I wasn’t enough.

I did this so many times without noticing that I was becoming needy and stagnant. I thought that the world was cruel, vicious and no one really cared. I recall the suicide notes I wrote without realising that i had already taken the poison.

My question is, when will I be enough? When will i realise that everything i have always needed is within me? When will I love myself and become content with that? When will I understand that I can be my own protector? When will I acknowledge the fact that i need to rely on myself more than others for everything?

I believe that it’s time to become my own superheroes. It’s time for each person to stop expecting and start giving themselves what they really need. It’s time to create our own safe spaces, build exotic gardens of hope and tranquility without expecting it from others.

How much have I invested in myself? How much love do I give to myself? How often do I appreciate who I am and who I am not?( Yes, who I am not) How frequently do I genuinely acknowledge how far I have come from and just how brilliant and unique my life experiences have been thus far?

Do I have a healthy relationship with myself or am I expecting something that I know nothing of from someone else? Do I listen to myself or do I demand for others attention? Am I owning my life or displaying my vulnerabilities expecting a miracle to change my life?

I would say that my greatest mistake is not believing that I am capable of being my own saviour thus limiting my capabilities to bring change. Now, I personally believe that no one can change the world but I find it practical to think that we can change ourselves for the better and make the world a better place.

#MyOwn

#TheWholenessEffect

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By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

Believing in God always made me feel good, safe and complete but everything changed after they referred to me as a disgrace, a sinner, an unworthy being.

Day in day out they ask me to repent, they ask me to change my ways and claim that the wages of my sin is death.

As if that isn’t enough they go an extra mile to try and end my life. Death threats, random attacks and even insults. Well they say sticks and stones may break my bones but words they come and go. They do go, into my mind and kill me from deep within.

Well, some reached out, some claimed to care but all it was, was just a show. They used me to show the world how the saints are supposed to love the sinners. They used me to profit, both financially and to boost their ego and pride.

My kind is being hunted, all over the world not because we are different be cause we are who we are. Because we believe in freedom, because bondage does not limit us.

My mistakes aren’t forgiven. They amplify them to extremes. They say that I am bad influence. They push me aside and enjoy it too.

It makes them feel as if they are gods. The modest ones claim to follow God’s will but to me it’s all the same.

It’s never been about God. It’s all about feeling good about yourself, being in charge, promoting arrogance, seeking profit, hiding the fact that we are threatened even envious of those that decide to be who they are unapologetically.

Does it make you happy to slit throats, shoot bullets, throw insults at those are simply themselves? Is this God’s word? Does this create a better place for your children and their children? Does this ‘war’ make the world a better place for any of us? Does any of this even make sense to any of you?

Well I am tired of fighting, living lies, tolerating negativity, hostility and arrogance yet still claiming to be hopeful.

I choose to live my life, invest in understanding myself and be unto others what I would want them to be to me even when they choose not to.

I choose to look up to the sky and smile knowing that the universe and whatever gave me this life is pleased and proud of me for who I am.

I choose not to make the world a better place because I am not able to do so but I choose to make myself a better person for that is who I am.

#BetterPerson

#TheWholenessEffect

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By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

My people perish for lack of knowledge. Knowledge which they often think they have. Knowledge which is often sought from the wrong sources. Knowledge diluted and cooked to lift one up to the clouds corrupting a thirsty generation. Books, sermons, scripts, schools and the internet. This is where my people go to feed on their thirst for knowledge but is their any truth in what they get? Of what use is this knowledge without truth?

My people are bound by a belief in higher power, yet how this higher power manifests separates them from each other. They are tought to trust and obey for there’s no other way. Weapons, guards, armies are always ready. Each dawn presenting a new war and my people are always ready to fight those who believe in the other way. So then what good is this higher power if all it does is essentially seperate us and enslaves us to it? Is my life worth anything at all or am i simply a slave to a higher power whom i shouldn’t question lest my people will come for me.

My people believe in freedom yet they oppress each other everyday in every way possible and imaginable. Of what use is freedom when all of us are bound by shackles and assume its ok? Of what use is freedom when the only thing that gets you respect is power, which is gotten through wealth which again my people would do anything for.

My people will listen but only to those that are worth their while. How many of my people even listen to themselves? How many of my people even allow that inner voice to speak? Better still, how many of my people know that they need to pay attention to their inner voices?

My people are brave yet they fear being alone. Most of them think that the masses are always right and would also do just about anything to fit in. It really doesn’t matter where they fit in just as long as they do. And why is this you may ask? The answer lies within them, my people.

My people are beautiful, gorgeous, talented, inventors however they still feel the need to get approval from others and still feel that its upto them to approve of others. But if no you don’t see it for yourself then what good will my words be? Why not focus in seeing what we have and sorround ourselves with individuals that will help us see who we are through our own sight?

My people are supportive, kind and generous but for some this is but a weakness. For others it has to be bought. And well for others its something they wish they could experience from my people. However, is it possible for them to give out what they want? Is it possible for them to give without expecting the same and still be whole? Is their a chance that my people would embrace this for better,for worse?

My people have senses not just the common kind but the kind that is unique to only them individually. But for most of them they remain hidden, untouched, unexplored. I pray that someday they would tap into them and make this world a place where each and everyone of my people is proud to call home.

As for now all i can say to my people is LOVE, LIVE & LOVE.

#TheWholenessEffect.

#MyPeople.

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By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

I’ve always loved mirrors and photos of myself. And even though i dont take as many like i used to a few years back , i often find myself find myself looking through the old ones. Sometimes i am impressed by how i look. Sometimes i am reminded of where i came from. Sometimes old memories come alive leaving me emotional.

Am I the reflection i see on the mirror? Am i the memories that are captured on camera? Am I the groomed individual that always has to turn heads.

I make my friends think that my relationship is perfect even though i would rather be single. The lifestyle i live right now is envied by so many so i need to keep it going. I need to be grateful for what i have and suck up to all the petty feelings of not being content.

Out there i am worshipped. Out there i have more power. Out there i have wings and a halo around my head to affirm my celestial nature but truth be told who i am is not known. Not even by me.

I am unhappy, confused, hurting, slowly dying, wishing that things would be better, broke, in an abusive relationship, struggling with my identity, struggling with addictions and sometimes contemplating suicide.

Don’t be fooled by what you see. That’s not me. Hell knows i don’t even know who i am.

Ooooh and don’t sympathize with me. Don’t even pray for me. Do you know why? Because you’ve always motivated me to be something i am not. You’ve always compared me with others. You’ve always pushed me to adjust into the culture.

I have always been taught to obey and be humble. I have always been told to be like someone else. I have always been told that i can be better. You know why ? Cause who i am is not good enough. It’s clearly not good enough for us to even explore.

Guys, do we encourage our friend, spouses, partners, children and relatives to explore and understand who they are for themselves or do we simply direct them into a path that we would like them to be? Do we encourage them to build memories for themselves and to appreciate their own reflections? Reflections that they themselves design.

And you, yes you. Do you ever listen to your inner voice? Do you allow yourself to be you without having to justify to anyone who you are? Do you appreciate the fact that you are an individual and not a community or tribe or whatever? Do you even try to explore who you are or do you let the world decide that for you?

How would you like to experience your life?

#TheWholenessEffect

#WhoAmI?

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By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

In one way or another i believe that all of us have felt the negative effect of being quarantined by Lord COVID-19. I mean not being able to enjoy your freedom, having to take precautions, not being able to see your friends, having to be anxious about how tomorrow will turn out ,worrying about your wellbeing but wait; that’s not all. Some of us are out of jobs right? Some of us have medical issues and this situation has only made it worse. Access to services is more difficult and expensive.

It’s a scary situation and truth be told theres nothing ok about this moment in time. Faith is being lost and hope keeps slipping away. Saints go around proclaiming that we need to repent. That this is just the beginning . LOL.

But here is something interesting, some of us have always lived like this. Some of us have always had to fight for our place. Some of us have always worried about our wellbeing, always had to stay away from freedom not knowing what it really feels like. Some of us have always lacked access to basic commodities. Some of us have not known what opportunity is neither have we known what it feels like to enjoy our rights. Better yet even know what rights are.

Welcome to the club, where survival is the goal. Welcome to the reality where nothing is really yours. Welcome to the days where theres nothing to be excited about. Welcome to the world where you get to bear the consequences of things that you know nothing about about. Welcome to the era where you have to take responsibility and cant simply take a moment to breathe.

Welcome to the days where you have to pray just to make it through to another day. Where fear creeps through your thoughts and you try so hard to battle it but it shows you its middle finger and flips it’s brazillian wig on your face.

I hope you learn something from this quarantine/social-isolation period. I hope you experience the loneliness and mental torment that some of us have to deal with because others decide to be righteous and mean. I hope you shed tears and for a moment wish that all this would end. That a cure or vaccine for the virus would be found and tomorrow would be better.

I pray that you make it through this and that by the end of all of this you are challenged to be a better human being. That you would put aside that title, pay cheque, culture, religion and belief. That you would quarantine all of that and just be human. And just love and be kind.

I pray that you take with you this lesson. Should you survive this, understand how lucky you are and be a better being.

#TheWholenessEffect

#Quarantined

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