By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

I am afraid of what my words can do. I understand that they are capable of so many things. I know that truly they can give and take away life from everything. They can build and destroy.

My words are both a weapon and a cause for celebration. My words can turn worlds apart and bring them together.

Truth is I’ve never really known how to use them. Does anyone really know how to use them? Does anyone really understand what words can do?

We speak them to express ourselves. We write them to store our expressions. We sometimes hide them due to the fear of what they may bring.

Words cant be undone. Neither can they be unsaid. No word is meaningless, no word is plain.

Words are powerful on so many levels. What you tell yourself and others always ends up creating an impact. Everything you communicate both verbally and none verbally is an expression of something in our minds. A portrayal of how we think, feel and what we believe.

Over the years, I have come to understand that my words have shaped my relationships; with my family, friends, colleagues and lovers. I have been mean, I have been kind, I have been insensitive, I have been sensitive, I have been brave, I have been offensive, I have been ignorant, I have been wise, I have been accepting and also unwelcoming all through my words.

I would say that their more to our words than we can phathom.

When one keeps track of their words then they would realise that none of us is innocent and none is guilty. Keeping track our words will reveal that you are as imperfect as your rival.

So mark my words when I say that words are life. They can work both for you and against you. So purpose to use them wisely at all times. But you probably already know this. Ha ha!

#TheWholenessEffect

#MarkMyWords.

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By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

Sometimes I get really tired, super tired. Tired of everything and everyone around me. Tired of constantly trying to do the right thing and being a better person when resentment keeps following me. Tired of dreaming big and setting high standards when reality keeps telling me to come back from the clouds and be more realistic.

I don’t seem to fit in anywhere and that seems to be a real struggle for me. Sometimes I feel misunderstood, unappreciated and that maybe I am asking for too much. I prioritize my mental health but still I feel like I am not doing enough. I am always in pursuit to find the right crowd, somewhere that I belong but just when I start getting comfortable i am given a reason to pack my bags and get back on the road.

I feel pressured to always say the right thing, dress appropriately, be that model person that I think others will like, tone myself down abit and limit myself with boundaries that I set for myself.

This makes me angry, sad and miserable but what can I do? I am indeed a freak, a weirdo, a misfit. Sigh i am miserable.

As miserable as these times, as miserable as the things the person I don’t want to become. Could it be that I am already that person? Could it be too late for me?

Sometimes I wish I could undo all the harm I cause people. I wish I could change the world atleast my world. But the truth is, the world isnt just mine, its ours. Maybe the world needs to create room for me and maybe then I wont have to work extra hard as I drain myself of me.

Don’t get me wrong, I do know who I am. I am a strong talented proud African queer man. The grandchild of a successful banker and business woman whom at the age of 26 is still struggling with their identity. Who is still angry and wishes that things were better. Who is still in denial of everything that he has lost but is trying super hard to make something out of himself.

I really don’t understand life. Honestly I dont. What was the vision behind it? Why is negative energy always out to destroy humanity? Why sickness and disease? Why selfish ambition, greed and corruption? I mean these shouldn’t be new to you if you are living on planet earth in 2020.

As I go through my Facebook and see images and clips of what is happening globally, what is happening in my homeland; I can’t help but feel selfish for wanting more. Innocent people are dying, greedy people striving to quench their unsatisfyable desires.

There’s the thems, us’s and then there’s you but the me is nowhere in the equation. Why? Because how often do I get to genuinely be happy? For how long do I have to fight? How many NOs do I need for just one yes. How many people will I have to please to get what I want in this life? Am i ever going to get their or am i wasting my time?

I dont know. I may not have the answer to all of my own questions. I may not understand my very own self. But one thing I know is that I was not built to break. That I may not change the world or even fully understand how it functions but I’m here either way. I part of the beauty and the mess, the highs and the lows.

My ways might be different. My struggles definitely not yours. My tears may easily flow compared to yours. My weight, hair texture & colour, skin tone and preferences may vary but the very things that separate us bind us together.

After all, we all struggle, we all have different ways of approaching things and seeing things. But despite all that am still here and I’m not about to give up on myself for anything/anyone’s pleasure.

So as I struggle not fitting in, as my demons keep showing up, as my doubts and fears try getting the best of me. I gracefully walk towards my unknown future with hope of experiencing the WholenessEffect.

#RealityCheck

#TheWholenessEffect

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By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

A few weeks back I was invited by a friend for dinner. Well I had tonnes of fun and it was actually great for me being around people as I spend most of my weekends alone in the comfort of my home. I got to interact with people, chat , catch up and basically socialize with people that I rarely get to engage with.

Just as I was sipping on what was perhaps one of the best cocktails I had ever had, one of the guests walked up to me and asked me to move. Well this is actually how they approached me. They walked up to me, hit me several times on the shoulder and told me to move to their seat. They told me that that was were I belonged and they wanted to have a conversation with the person that I was seated next to. Well what followed next was a Rosa Parks moment.

‘No!! Ever heard of something called courtesy?”, I asked them. I told them that i would not move until they used the right words. I told them that how he approached me was rude and they ought to know better than to aggressively approach me expecting me to be submissive and simply move. I got that this individual wanted to have a conversation with the person seated next to me and that it was obviously a private one but the way they came on to me was simply rude. To me it felt as though they felt entitled to be bossy given the fact that they were older than me and had a valid reason as to why we should exchange seats.

I totally understood where they were coming from but their approach was simply rude. I told him that the how they approached me was the reason why I wouldn’t move and that if they used a polite more courteous approach I would be pleased to move.

They didn’t listen and went on about how dramatic I was (which I know I can be at times) and squeezed himself in between us. I wasn’t going to move till the other person then asked me politely to excuse them and take next seat which I did. I mean this other person was polite plus I wasn’t about to put myself in the risk of getting COVID-19, social distancing needs to be maintained.
Well, I feel like this other guy felt entitled to have their way. They didn’t consider that I was also a guest just like them and was having a good time just like them and that i too deserve some respect.
I believe that lots of times we feel entitled to certain privileges based on the privileges we may have or in some cases my not have.
Daily we experience and sometimes practice entitlement. In our work places, within our social circles, families and even relationships. We misuse our right to be respected and justify it with our social status, job titles, gender, age, health conditions, feelings, roles, appearances, sex and even sexual orientations.
To me it really doesn’t matter. There’s no reason for any of us to feel entitled to anything. We should never misuse our rights, privileges, health or social status. Everyone is worthy and deserves to be treated with respect.
I believe in doing unto others as I would want them to do for me. Though honestly sometimes my emotions get in the way but still I reflect, own up for the mistake, apologise and try to see to it it doesn’t recur.
A lot of times we make up excuses as to why we act the way we do but I simply look at it as entitlement. We are not entitled to anything. We all need to work for our place and treat each other with the same level of respect that we expect from others.
Just because I have what I have doesn’t mean I should be an ass to those that dont have what I have. Just because I hold certain sets of values doesn’t make it right for me to develop toxic attitudes others. Just because I practice a particular religion or way of life it doesn’t mean that I should feel entitled to anything.
At the end of it all, what we deserve beats what we may think we are entitled to.

#TheWholenessEffect
#Entitlement

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By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

If ever my life had a theme song it would be the sunday school rhyme this little light.

For most of my life I have been put down, belittled. By both strangers, friends, foes but none has had a greater role in this than the man in the mirror.

I have allowed myself to be a victim. I have allowed myself to carry baggage that wasn’t even mine yo begin with. I have allowed myself to suffer in my own hands just so I could make things better for others. Just so I could get validation that I am special. Little did I know that in this process I was blocking my light.

You see friends, life is a platform. One that gives us so many experiences and privileges, which we might or might not be aware of. Life comes along with highs and lows but that’s not it’s rhythm.

Life’s rhythm drawn from the fact that everyone before you came into existence, your life had a purpose. It is often our responsibility to atleast try and find out what it is rather than to have a fixed mindset on what it should me. I believe that this blocks our light.

And yes, we sometimes experience dark moments. For me there’s been several and I’m sure that there’s still more to come but now how is my light supposed to shine without darkness. Lol.

Darkness is necessary, darkness makes us learn and grow, darkness gives relevance to your light.

The world doesn’t need to be a better place. You need to be a better being. You need to spend time with yourself, trying to learn from every experience, trying to connect with the source of life; the beginning. You need to allow your light to shine and appreciate the fact that you aren’t darkness but you are a light.

You are a solution, you are a voice, you are a wind that moves on the surface of the sea, you are a force that impacts the universe. And whether you are aware of this or not, this is who you are.

So now, will you continue to block your light by giving power to others, standing in your own way by being ignorant and dismissive of your value and worth or investing in making others shine while dimming your own light? Well it’s really upto you. But I know what I’m gonna do with this little light of mine.

#TheWholenessEffect

#LetItShine

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