By Elizabeth Onyango and Sarafina Kimotho

You can connect with Elizabeth and Sarafina on Twitter through their handles @Lizzy34934290 and @seraphinakim respectively.

Day 6 of 16 Days Of Activism 2021 we focus on FEMICIDE

Femicide – the killing of women and girls – is the most extreme form of violence on a continuum of violence and discrimination against women and girls. Various typologies of femicide have been proposed by researchers in the past several decades with most distinguishing ‘intimate femicide’ from various other types of femicide (e.g. familial femicide and stranger femicide). These two broad categories of femicide are defined below.

Intimate femicide also referred to as intimate partner femicide, captures the killing of women by current or former partners. Globally, women are much more likely than men to be assaulted, raped or killed by a current or former partner and it most often occurs within relationships where there is a history of intimate partner violence.

Non-intimate femicide involves the killing of women by someone with whom they did not share an intimate partner relationship, encompassing a broad range of femicide subtypes such as familial femicide, ‘other known perpetrator’ femicide and stranger femicide.

2021 marks the 30th anniversary of the Global 16 Days Campaign. Inspired by the original vision and history of the Campaign, which focused on raising awareness about violence against women (VAW), and considering the continuing impunity for femicide, this year the Campaign is focusing on the issue of “femicide or the gender-related killing of women.” Today, we give attention to some of the most recent femicide cases in Kenya.

A famous English quote says, ‘there’s no place like home’; such a beautiful and powerful phrase, home is supposed to be a peaceful safe haven for women and girls, But is home really safe?

How many women have turned up murdered in their own homes? Stories of young girls raped and butchered because of their sexuality and gender identity, old women torched to death for being suspected of witchcraft, our mothers’ blood calling and crying woooi woooi, I only wanted to stay for my children😢

We call everyone to action, telling her to leave that man or leave that house is not enough, We call everyone to mention their names, shout their names

1. IVY – hacked to death by a man she turned down
2. ERICA – Brutally murdered for being herself
3. TIROP – found dead in bed with multiple wounds.
4. CYNTHIA – 17-year-old, raped, killed and dumped in a river

If the victims could speak up today, We wonder what will they say?

My killer wasn’t some crazy stranger or a masked-up psychopath, it was my companion and my partner, one who knew me intimately.

Tirop

They killed my dreams, my ambitions and aspirations in life, they denied me a chance for my wings to grow and fly, even before I started my light was deemed.

Erica

The threat of a violent death of a woman is indeed great in her own home. It is there where she was the least safe from harm.

Click and follow our social platforms on;

FACEBOOK PAGE: PEMA-Kenya, FACEBOOK ACCOUNT: Pema Ke Nya

TWITTER: @pemakenya  INSTAGRAM: @pemakenya

By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

Flesh, blood, bones, DNA, a pulse and a brain clearly don’t make us human. Atleast not in my opinion.

Does humanity exist? Or is it just a vision dreamt by those long departed.

Sometimes, I wake up and try to be human. I try to empathise, love and be kind only to realize that no one gives this back to me. Are they even supposed to justify my humanity? Why do I give them such power?

Society doesn’t allow me to say this outloud. I am not allowed to say that I feel drained by my family, job neighbours, friends. No! If I dare to even think that way, then I am a selfish being. But then who gets to share my experience? Is it not I?

They once told me to cry in private and smile in public. That will make me strong they said. Pretty stupid right?

They also said to cheerfully give without expecting to receive. Mmmmhhhh!!! So I guess the emptiness inside me will automatically regenerate while I freely give the emptiness, right?

Is this what it means to be human? Suffering in silence , allowing others to drain you, have no freedom and yet navigating through life trying to seek understanding of what it’s all about?

Honestly, I really don’t care whether or not you can relate to this but please do something human for yourself.

Please love yourself enough to give yourself the best. Love yourself enough not to put up with the rest but find those that appreciate your radiant glory and expression.

Being human isn’t about being born with a certain genetic construct. It’s about learning to love yourself and being kind on yourself. It’s about understanding your mind, it’s flaws and strengths.

It’s about being unto others what you are to yourself not because they need it , not because you are obliged to be that way but because that’s just who you are.

Being human isn’t being pressured to compromise on your wellbeing for the sake of others. I mean, I am my own person.

“I am human, nothing under the sun is new to me. Nothing seen or unseen suprises me. I am capable of anything and everything. Feeling as I do right now is Something Human. “

#TheWholenessEffect

#SomethingHuman.

Click and follow our social platforms on;

FACEBOOK PAGE: PEMA-Kenya, FACEBOOK ACCOUNT: Pema Ke Nya

TWITTER: @pemakenya  INSTAGRAM: @pemakenya

By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

You’d think that those that you hold dear and close to you would notice your worth. That they’d appreciate who you are and regularly affirm just how precious you are and show you nothing less than support. You’d expect that they would help you walk in the right path so that eventually you would become the best you – you in your fullest potential. But then that not always the case.

Sometimes those very same people will crush you. Do everything possible to make you feel that you are nothing and that in order to succeed in this life you need to live under their mercy.

Still can’t relate to this?

Well, let’s then look at the statistics. Numerous studies suggest that lots of perpetuaters are people that are known to the victim. This isn’t just rape and physical violence. Its also psychological torture, exploitation and blackmail.

Truly not everyone that we hold dear to us thinks that we are worth the tender love and care that we actually are. Even when we desperately make a plea for redemption or a cry for help, they mostly turn the other way and label us to be selfish, in need of pity or desperate for attention. Which in my opinion might be valid. ( I know this is a controversial statement. We might explore it on the next post )

In turn, some of us become cold and bitter because we feel betrayed and unloved. Some of us go as far as becoming vengeful while others sink in the bottomless pool of depression and ultimately become addicts or suicidal.

But even then, no one still seems to come through.

At 27 years old, I have lived most of my life expecting people to come through. Desperate that someone would listen to my story, feel my pain and help me appreciate my worth and most of the time what I got was the total opposite. I mean everyone sees what’s happening to you but no one bothers to find out what happened to you to get you to that messy place. No one seems to see the other person’s worth because most of us don’t even realise our own worth.

All of us are blinded by the need to succeed, have material things, get noticed, prove that we are worthy rather than simply notice our worth and appreciate ourselves for what we are worth.

I say, if you only knew what you are worth then you would easily say no. No to anyone that diminished you, no to selfish ambition and greed, no to people that had you live under their mercy, no to circumstances that make you uncomfortable, no to anything and everyone that holds you back. Then gracefully walk away.

I believe that the choice is simply yours to make. You can easily decide to be a victim or a victor.

I recently called myself to a meeting where my body, mind and soul all agreed that I needed to make a change. I needed to let go of everything and everyone that was holding me from noticing my value. I decided to love myself so much that I can now say no to anything and anyone that makes me less than my actual worth.

You see, I know what happened to me. I know what I’ve had to deal with, the battles I’ve fought and continue to fight, the pain and heartache I’ve experienced and what I am capable of.

I know that I am a child of God and nothing about me is flawed.

Hahaha! I know what you are thinking. He thinks he’s perfect, right?

Well, yes. Yes I am. I am a perfect Masterpiece. A work of art that took time to be created. My presence is key on this earth. I am here to pave ways and open doors, to teach from my experiences. My existence is not a mistake. I am here to overcome every obstacle. I am here to say no to whatever tries to alter my creators assignment for me.

You see what happened to you isn’t who you are. You are who you become after that experience. And men, human beings and people have nothing to do with it. They don’t determine who you are, so stop letting them.

Stop expecting people to be what you want them to be. This doesn’tmake you any better. Once you’ve realised who you really are and walk in your splendour and in the glory of your creator – well, then and only then will you realise your life’s worth.

In all the negativity that exists. In all the pain and heartaches you’ve lived. In all the tears and tragedy you’ve experienced. In all the goodbyes and ‘f’ you’s that have been told to you. In all the weight and burdens that you are struggling to lay down. Always remember that you my beloved are enough and nothing should compromise on your life’s worth.

#TheWholenessEffect

#ALife’sWorth

Click and follow our social platforms on;

FACEBOOK PAGE: PEMA-Kenya, FACEBOOK ACCOUNT: Pema Ke Nya

TWITTER: @pemakenya  INSTAGRAM: @pemakenya

By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

Sometimes we get to that place where we feel too comfortable. That place where everything seems to be working perfectly. Every step looks right. Every feedback received is nothing less than positive. Well this place seems to be the destination of a journey.

We immediately start giving thanks to God. We thank the universe for the opportunity and even begin sharing our testimonies. We look back on the dirty road, that road of hardships, torment, disappointment, sleepless nights, hard work and sometimes pain and if seems like we are at that table. The table whereby we get to feast before our enemies. The Comfort Table.

We reach for the expensive china and begin to serve. Some of us, well let’s just say have an appetite while others are watching their weight. As we pick up the silver ware, the mood is modest and everyone looks ravished and delighted. A few minutes into the meal we engage in conversations. Some take part in it while others as they say, dig in.

A happy moment, a picture perfect moment it is. But wait. So one of us at the comfort table drops their cutlery and we all turn to look at them. Some of us are irritated by the sound it makes as it bounces on the floor. Others try to help them pick it up. Some do so while making fun of them. Another genuinely empathises with the incident while some look at them as an embarrassment, as an individual that is undeserving to be on the comfort table.

This is followed by an abrupt moment of silence that ushers in a shift in the mood and brew of opinions begin to form.

“Dont they have etiquette? Who drops their cutlery? Why would I help them pick it up? The food is so tasty. Poor them! They dont know how to use cutlery. It could happen to anyone.” These are some of the thoughts and opinions. Some were said out loud while some remain hidden but in reality a perfect moment was brought back to reality by nature’s force of gravity.

Well, what am I trying to say. It’s simple. You see being comfortable is something that we all strive to attain. And it means different thing to us as we are all unique. But then reality will always keep us in check. Reality will remind us that nothing is ever perfect. That comfort is attainable but reality still remains. I mean think of that moment when the silverware slips to the ground while you are caught up enjoying your victory meal. What would that be like for you if you were one that had dropped the cutlery?

Would you be ashamed? Would you politely ask for a new set? Would you demand for a new set? Would you use your hands to eat and simply enjoy the meal? Would you excuse yourself? I mean what would you do?

I have learnt that being comfortable is something that we all work hard to attain. Attaining it does bring us together but at the same time we still remain to be different individuals dinning on the same comfort table. Our responses and reactions will always vary.

I’ll let you think through this vividly and allow you to interpret the incident in your own unique way. But all I can share from my thoughts is, regardless of how things may seem, feel or be at the Comfort Table, always be grateful and hold on to your seat. You deserve to be seated on it.

#COMFORT TABLE

#THEWHOLENESSEFFECT

Click and follow our social platforms on;

FACEBOOK PAGE: PEMA-Kenya, FACEBOOK ACCOUNT: Pema Ke Nya

TWITTER: @pemakenya  INSTAGRAM: @pemakenya