Who am I?

17Jun, 2020

By Henry Ominde.

You can connect with him on; Facebook Page: @WholenessEffect, Twitter: @wholenesseffect and Instagram: @h.ominde

THE WHOLENESS EFFECT

I’ve always loved mirrors and photos of myself. And even though i dont take as many like i used to a few years back , i often find myself find myself looking through the old ones. Sometimes i am impressed by how i look. Sometimes i am reminded of where i came from. Sometimes old memories come alive leaving me emotional.

Am I the reflection i see on the mirror? Am i the memories that are captured on camera? Am I the groomed individual that always has to turn heads.

I make my friends think that my relationship is perfect even though i would rather be single. The lifestyle i live right now is envied by so many so i need to keep it going. I need to be grateful for what i have and suck up to all the petty feelings of not being content.

Out there i am worshipped. Out there i have more power. Out there i have wings and a halo around my head to affirm my celestial nature but truth be told who i am is not known. Not even by me.

I am unhappy, confused, hurting, slowly dying, wishing that things would be better, broke, in an abusive relationship, struggling with my identity, struggling with addictions and sometimes contemplating suicide.

Don’t be fooled by what you see. That’s not me. Hell knows i don’t even know who i am.

Ooooh and don’t sympathize with me. Don’t even pray for me. Do you know why? Because you’ve always motivated me to be something i am not. You’ve always compared me with others. You’ve always pushed me to adjust into the culture.

I have always been taught to obey and be humble. I have always been told to be like someone else. I have always been told that i can be better. You know why ? Cause who i am is not good enough. It’s clearly not good enough for us to even explore.

Guys, do we encourage our friend, spouses, partners, children and relatives to explore and understand who they are for themselves or do we simply direct them into a path that we would like them to be? Do we encourage them to build memories for themselves and to appreciate their own reflections? Reflections that they themselves design.

And you, yes you. Do you ever listen to your inner voice? Do you allow yourself to be you without having to justify to anyone who you are? Do you appreciate the fact that you are an individual and not a community or tribe or whatever? Do you even try to explore who you are or do you let the world decide that for you?